This is the first post in a three-part series on getting the good life. What really makes you happy?
Click here to read part 2 and part 3.
(P.S. Get your FREE printable 7-Day Gratitude Journal by clicking the link in part 3.)
How happy would you be if you won the lottery?
Probably about as happy as you are right now. That’s according to scientific studies in the relatively new field of happiness research.
Everyone wants to be happy. We fantasize about winning the lottery and imagine the house we would build with our new-found riches, or the vacation, or better yet, throwing that resignation letter on our boss’s desk and becoming a full-time artist.
We feel entitled to be happy. For Americans, it’s right there in the Constitution: “…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
And when we’re not happy, we want to know why. And how to fix it.
You might even think you know what makes a person happy.
But what does the hard science say?
Thanks to the upsurge in happiness research since the year 2000, now we have a pretty good idea. I dug through research study reports and went half blind reading about statistics and control groups and trying to decipher the study authors’ convoluted, wordy, and overwritten prose. Heaps of research later, the results are in.
Maybe you already know many of the happiness secrets on this list, but some may surprise you.
1. Happiness is up to you (mostly.)
About 35% of your happiness comes from your genetics. That’s your baseline. And when something wonderful happens, you’ll be ecstatic for a while and then return to your genetic starting point.
Same for sad events. If the end of a relationship has left you heartbroken and you plan to be miserable forever, don’t bother. Researchers say that you’ll eventually bounce back up to your baseline happiness.
- Only about 10% of your happiness comes from good or bad luck events.
That’s good news: you don’t have to wait around for happy things to happen to you. Good luck, bad luck, and serendipity don’t count for much when it comes to your happiness.
Now what about the rest of your “happiness profile?”
- This is the good part: 40% of your happiness, or lack thereof, comes from intentional learned skills and behaviors.
It’s what you choose to do or not to do that affects your happiness. More than any one aspect, more than genetics or happenstance, YOU affect your life for good or for bad.
In fact, that’s why this happiness tip comes first in our illustrious list: knowing that you can do something to be happier means you have no excuse not to try a few things on this list!
2. The connection between money and happiness. (Hint: There isn’t one.)
In a poll, Americans were asked what one thing would make them happier. Over 70% of respondents answered – you guessed it – more money! If you agree with them, then you’re not alone.
It’s hard not to dream what life would be like if you won the lottery, or started that business idea you’ve been toying with and became an amazing success, or even just got a much-deserved raise at work.
You would have more choices, more fun. You could relax a little. Take a deep breath.
Be happy.
But would you really be happier if you were wealthy?
Not likely. That’s the surprising result of several studies on the relationship between happiness and income.
Okay, let’s back up. There is one situation in which income does increase happiness: elevating someone from poverty and into middle class.
A. Kahneman led a breakthrough study on income and happiness, and he found that people with incomes over $90,000 were twice as likely to be happy as people with incomes below $20,000.
So the real difference in happiness comes from lifting someone from subsistence level and meeting his basic needs. Once a person’s basic needs are met, he or she has as much potential to be happy as even the richest folks among us.
But what about everyone in the middle? Kahneman’s study found that there was hardly any difference in the happiness of the highest $90,000+ income group and those who made between $50,000 and $89,999.
In other words, there is almost no difference in happiness between the middle class and the rich.
In fact, Forbes magazine reported that the super rich are only one point higher on a happiness scale of 1-7 than the middle class.
- In a study, about 50 super-rich Americans were asked to rate their happiness on a scale of 1-7 and their scores were compared to a control group of people from the same regions as the rich respondents. The rich scored an average of 5.82 on the happiness scale and the control group scored 5.34 – a difference of less than half a point.
And over one-third of the rich group scored below the control group’s average.
So if you do win the lottery or get a major increase in income like a raise at work, the research shows that you’ll get a boost of optimism for a few weeks and then you’ll return to your “set point”.
Remember your happiness baseline?
Yep, it’s the reason why getting rich probably won’t make you much happier than you are right now.
3. Do good for others, do good for yourself.
The Golden Rule – do for others what you want them to do for you – really is a prescription for happiness.
And doing something kind for others is like paying yourself.
- One study concluded that “…charitable donations are associated with neural activation in brain regions that are implicated in the experience of pleasure and reward, a pattern of activation that is similar to that which arises after receiving money for oneself.” [Emphasis mine]
You also get used to life’s circumstances, good or bad. It’s called hedonic adaptation.
This means when something pleasurable happens, like you lose weight and buy a fabulous new wardrobe, eventually the excitement wears off – you’ve adapted to the excitement and returned to your baseline happiness.
Then you start looking for the next shopping spree or vacation to give you a jolt. So shake up the status quo by adding in intentional rewarding acts, like kindness or charitable giving, to increase your happiness.
- Doing good for others will slow down your rate of hedonic adaptation and make you happier for longer.
A tip on getting the most out of giving: Make the goal specific.
In the study I just mentioned, people who had a specific goal, such as “make someone smile”, were happier than people whose goal was more abstract, like “make someone happy.”
Why did the specific goal make people happier?
Because the outcome of their goal more accurately matched their expectations.
As humans, we’re terrible at guessing how much happiness we’ll get from a future event, and we usually overestimate it. We’re also bad at guessing how unhappy a future negative event will make us.
If you want to make someone happy, then your goal is too general; you’ll tend to think achieving it will make you happier than it really will.
So make simple and specific goals to do good for others and reap those happiness benefits.
4. Meditation is good medicine.
You’ve probably heard of the benefits of meditation, but you might be surprised how much it can do for your brain and your happiness.
In her book Firing Up Your Writing Brain, Susan Reynolds writes about some of the amazing benefits you can get from regular meditation:
- Reduce your anxiety, phobias and insomnia and calm your mind. People who regularly practice meditation have less anxiety in their brain’s “default mode” network, which is linked to anxiety, distraction, hyperactivity, and attention deficit.
- Quiet distracting thoughts
- Boost insights, ideas, and connections
- Live more in the moment and become less self-focused
- Quiet the “me” thoughts that lead to worrying about “me”-related problems
- Increase your brain’s gray matters in areas responsible for emotions, memory, and executive functioning
- Enhance your attention, compassion, and empathy
- Reduce production of the stress hormone cortisol
- Boost access to your innermost self and helps you feel more confident in what you’re doing without attaching too many expectations to it
“Over time, meditation becomes a calming signal for the brain,” Reynolds writes, “helping with overall stress reduction, relaxation, and renewal.”
And who couldn’t use more of that?
Best of all, it doesn’t matter what kind of meditation you practice – they’re all good for your brain.
I don’t ascribe to meditation practices with Hindu or Buddhist teachings, so here are resources for either the Christian or non-religious practice of meditation.
- Meditation for Christians. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/philfoxrose/meditation-for-christians/
- Meditation Guide (non-religious) https://zenhabits.net/meditation-guide/
Your happiness is mostly up to you – and that’s good news! In parts 2 and 3, you’ll learn the rest of the happiness formula, but don’t wait to get started on your good life. Take these to heart and see how much good they can do for you:
- Don’t take money too seriously. Once your basic needs are met and you h ave enough disposable income to make choices for yourself, you have all the money you need to be happy.
- Actively seek to help others. It’s amazing how much good it will do for YOU.
- Set aside a few minutes each day to meditate. You’ll be calmer and less worried, opening your mind for better things to enter.
Your turn: Did anything on this list surprise you? Have you tried any of these recently, and what happened?