Your weekly reflective question to help you seek God, the source of all good things. At the end of the post, grab your free Bible verse art print. You can also sign up to receive posts like these in the subscribe box below this post.
From my dusty 10th floor balcony I could glimpse the ocean, a hazy blue chip barely visible in the gap between apartment buildings, hotels, and high-rise office buildings. Another day of the same routine, dragging on and dragging me down like the humid, oven-like air of the United Arab Emirates.
Today I would read on the couch, cook and clean (which didn’t take long in an apartment the size of a large walk-in closet) or watch one of the three English-speaking channels. Tomorrow I would do it all again. And again. And again.
The Food Network was my favorite because I could drool over all of my favorite foods from back in the U.S. The deep-fried donuts episode almost brought me to tears.
Tears were a familiar ailment in this alien country. I was bored, lonely, and longing for home. Although I was in the UAE to be with my husband, the stripping away of all things familiar had shrunk my world down to a few square feet.
I ached for conversation from far-away family and friends, the ease of going where I wanted when I wanted. Even the thought of getting in a car of my own and driving to Lowes to look at paint color was enough to squeeze my heart. Without a car and living in an unglamorous city outside of the glitzy limits of Dubai, there was little freedom. No church, and no friends. Not many places to visit.
The grocery store was the height of entertainment. The dusty streets and endless desert dunes reflected the barrenness of my heart in that hard season. Give me green growing things, give me life to look at, and life again.
I had never known longing like this.
The day came when I boarded a jet with my 10-month-old son tucked on my hip and flew home. I wonder if soldiers returning from war feel the pull of home as strongly as I did that day. A closed-up life opened to me again. And the deep longing lifted.
Almost.
Despite blessings received and milestones achieved (home at last; a visit to Lowes; reunions with family and friends; the art store! Worshipping again with fellow believers; my husband joining us in the U.S.), there remained a seed of longing.
Have you felt it?
You ask yourself, “Why can’t I be content?” Then we quote Bible verses to ourselves, like “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”
But contentment isn’t the issue.
Contentment is blessedly achievable. If…
If you make peace with longing. Because longing isn’t leaving anytime soon.
Now why is that? Why is the God who promises peace and encourages contentment, content to let us live with longing?
I believe there are two reasons: one practical and one, as usual, spiritual.
The practical reason we aren’t satisfied is that dissatisfaction keeps us motivated. A goal achieved isn’t as satisfying as working on that goal, according to science. (Forgive me for not referencing the studies, but this isn’t a scientific report and I’m too lazy.)
That slight hint of discontent, of longing, gets us off the couch and back to making our lives and this world a better place.
But the second reason we live with longing is that longing is the natural state of a soul separated from its Beloved. And God is the lover of our soul. In Him, we are beloved.
A good God wouldn’t let us be satisfied with anything less than the best, and who is perfect but God?
Saint Augustine wrote:
I call you into my soul, which you prepare to accept you by the longing that you breath into it.
Longing is exactly the right feeling of a soul craving home as it sojourns in a foreign land. We who long, we who crave, are dwellers in lonely country. Heaven is our home, and heaven is the throne of God.
When we hope that a new home, financial freedom, a slimmer body, or a joyful marriage will satisfy that longing, we lose out. All of those things are good and contribute greatly to our happiness. God wants us to enjoy each other, to revel in work we love, to celebrate. These good things are hints, veiled but vaguely outlined, of our future in heaven.
But they are not Him.
Solomon, the richest king of the ancient world, knew discontent. I think Solomon is a perfect example of misplaced longing because he was in a position to know that riches and worldly goods won’t satisfy: He was the wealthiest man in the world, he had hundreds of wives and concubines to satisfy his body, homes custom-built to his taste, any food he desired, and a nation full of pet projects to occupy his mind.
Yet he wrote these words:
He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver;
Nor he who loves abundance, with increase.
This is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 5:10 NKJV
Will not be satisfied. There you go. It’s not going to happen.
I don’t love my longing, but its presence is a constant reminder of a higher goal and a better future.
For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry with food.
Psalm 107:9 NKJV
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.
Psalm 17:15 NKJV
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You?
Psalm 73:25 NKJV
Our longing is a form of soul hunger: Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to finish His work.”
Our longing is a form of sorrow. Aren’t we sorrowful when a spouse is deployed, or a child lost? Yet we of faith know that our longing won’t last, because He who is faithful has promised:
And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God [is] with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them [and be] their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:3-4 NKJV
Finally, I will say something I believe but can’t be certain of, that God longs for us. He is a spirit without fear, without sin but He is also without us. While we carry His indwelling Spirit, I believe God longs for the day when we stand before Jesus face to face.
Those are the best kinds of reunions, aren’t they? A long sorrow, a great anticipation, and the first glimpse of a beloved face. We long for what cannot be satisfied on this earth. It isn’t meant to be. It’s a calling card, a searchlight, a signal pointing straight to the heart of God.
Your reflective question of the week: What longings have you felt that weren’t satisfied when you thought they should be? Could it be that your soul is hungry for God? How can you learn to appreciate this gift of longing as a calling from God?
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