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I remember the day I got my first disciple.
The day started early. Although the event had been planned in advance, I was nervous. Moments of laughter mingled with a few painful episodes. My social media manager kept our family and friends updated.
The day unfolded, then collapsed toward evening.
It was time to receive my pupil.
Dr. Tilley laid the small, wet body on my chest. This marvelous being and I regarded each other with hopeful eyes.
At that moment I felt these words in my spirit: “You are responsible for what you teach this child about Me.”
We named him Luke. An appropriate name for a disciple.
In the years since, I’ve given birth to a second boy and named him Elias, which is a variation of the name Elisha. An appropriate name for a disciple.
I didn’t always call them disciples, though. I didn’t always call myself Teacher. My vision was too small. Less.
Every Sunday morning at Fellowship Church in White Plains, Maryland, Pastor Marvin Harris pours out his heart with jokes, stories, and gospel truth. Pastor and Mrs. Harris came to Christ after burying four of their children and have led so many to Jesus.
Pastor Marvin, as he likes to be called, often says “I just love people.” A man doing Kingdom work. Fulfilling the great commission.
Yet when I thought of Pastor Marvin, I felt…less.
Pastor Marvin ranks among countless soldiers for Christ who’ve led countless souls to Christ.
Billy Graham spoke to more human beings than any person in history. Although it’s a politician’s dream to have such an audience, Billy Graham simply pointed to the cross.
Street preachers with the fire of the Holy Spirit stand among the multitudes and preach love and repentance to hardened hearts and broken spirits.
Men and women doing Kingdom work.
Even as I cheered them on as brothers and sisters in Christ, I felt…less.
I was just a stay-at-home mom of two boys. Relegated to the back room, to the nitty gritty, unexciting and uninspiring. Sure, teaching my boys about God was important.
But after that there’d be “real” Christian ministry. Once I’m not slowed down by small children, legit Kingdom work would commence.
Until then I’d be a nobody. Not a harvest worker Jesus asked us to pray for.
Less: Just a mom biding her time.
Can you relate, moms?
Perhaps I’m not the only one who put pastors, evangelists, preachers and men and women in full-time Christian ministry on a pedestal, admiring them as the ones who were doing real Kingdom work.
Ministry is a numbers game, right? Get ‘em saved, that’s what matters. But is it?
Is getting sinners to repent and follow Jesus the only Kingdom work?
What happens to the new believer? Is baby Christian ready for elevation to the preacher’s pulpit? Of course not.
Between baby Christian and mature believer ready to serve is a long road called discipleship.
Ministry as just a numbers game? A lie.
The truth is that God used the few, the small, and the weak to raise up mighty nations (Abraham), to slay giants (adolescent David) and to bear the King of Kings (another teenager: Mary).
Maybe ministry is a numbers game: the fewer, the better because His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
I first suspected the lie after reading the truth in an unlikely place: a secular career book written by psychologist Linda Austin, MD.
In What’s Holding You Back? 8 Critical Choices for Women’s Success (Basic Books, 2000) Dr. Austin points out:
“If you have chosen for yourself a small world, the influences you can have on each person may be enormous – and those individuals will eventually pass your gifts onto others.”
Dr. Austin recounted that although she helps many people in small ways on her radio show, she had a much more profound and lasting effect on the 10 or 20 patients she worked with at any given time when she was in private practice.
Small world, great influence. The gifts we pass on to our children are of the highest, eternal priority.
We give them the greatest gift of all – Jesus. Small world, great influence.
Small disciples grow up to be great influencers.
Moms, we are disciples of Christ, and we are disciple makers. Discipleship isn’t just bringing new converts into the Kingdom, but maturing those converts so they can serve, too.
Let me share with you Six Principles of Discipleship that will help us raise our children to be mature disciples in Christ:
One: God uses the few to help the many.
Looking over the history of the Bible, we see God working through a small number to do great things.
- Noah preserved the human race with his family of eight faithful people.
- Abraham seeded an entire nation with one son.
- Joseph saved the beginnings of that nation through faithful stewardship. Moses led the fledgling nation out from slavery.
- Hannah gave birth – and then gave up – a long-awaited son who became a great prophet and anointed Israel’s most beloved king.
- Paul arose from the side of the road temporarily blind and showed Jesus to countless souls.
If ministry were a numbers game, then we wouldn’t know about these people.
Never underestimate God’s ability to multiple our “less” into abundance.
Two: Home is our children’s first church.
Home trumps church as the hub of spiritual training.
Do you know what is the single largest group of Kingdom workers?
It’s not pastors, evangelists, church elders, street preachers, nuns or Sunday School teachers – it’s you. Moms.
Notice how God tells us to teach our kids His Word:
“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:7-9 NKJV
Look at these phrases:
- Sit in your house,
- when you walk,
- when you lie down (in your house),
- when you rise up (in your house),
- doorposts of your house,
- your gates
– this is home training. And we are the trainers, the disciples of Christ who raise up new disciples to maturity.
Moms, we are the first line of defense against the darkness of this world.
We are the tip of the sword to pierce our children’s hearts with the Word of God.
We are the early risers among the harvest laborers.
Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly [is] plentiful, but the laborers [are] few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” Matthew 9:37-38 NKJV
The Kingdom needs us harvesting the precious hearts in our homes.
We are the front line of the battle for souls, and we have everything required to win.
Three: Discipleship has only two purposes.
As moms, we’re fighting the good fight, but now we need to understand the purpose of discipleship so we can shepherd our children with intentionality.
- Discipleship has two purposes: Lead a person to repentance and
- teach that person to imitate Christ. When that disciple matures, his or her job is to do the same thing for someone else.
At the very beginning of Jesus’s ministry on earth, before He ever chooses His first disciple, Jesus went into Galilee…
Proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come,” He said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” As Jesus walked beside the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed Him. Mark 1: 14-18
Soak up the action words in this passage: Jesus invites us to Repent, Believe, and Follow.
When we do these things first, then He will teach us to be “fishers of men.” As we disciple our children, we first invite them to repent, believe and follow Jesus.
In time they, too, will become fishers of men.
Four: Discipleship is on the job training.
Jesus’s disciples followed Him daily, not just in major ministry moments, like feeding the 5,000, but in the daily details of ordinary life like visiting friends for dinner (Mary, Martha and Lazarus).
Jews had a saying that’s appropriate even today: May you be covered in his dust.
Referring to followers – disciples – of rabbis, this phrase spoke to the close fellowship of a rabbi and his students. A rabbi’s disciples were careful students of the rabbi’s ways.
Disciples followed so closely behind him, figuratively speaking, that they were coated in the dust his feet kicked up as he traveled on the road. The disciples ate what and how he ate, they treasured his words, they moved when he traveled on, they slept when he slept.
Our kids will learn from us in and through life.
- Let our kids see how we respond to a rude driver.
- Let’s talk about the Living Water as we scrub dishes in soapy water.
- Let’s laugh with our kids even as we struggle to pay our bills so our kids can see that joy isn’t tied to circumstances.
- Let our precious ones observe us read our Bible, pray and praise and so begin to treasure a special relationship with God, too.
As we follow Jesus, our kids will follow us and we will all be covered in His dust.
Five: Your discipleship toolbox is stocked with four things: Bible reading/study, Scripture memorization, prayer and conversation.
Jesus used these tools to turn ordinary men into the extraordinary band of believers who carried His message to the world.
Bible reading/study: Jesus quoted from most of the Law and the Prophets (what we call the Old Testament) and He spent time in synagogues reading from the Word. King David described God’s word as “a lamp unto my feet and a light into my path.”
The more time we spend in God’s Word, the more work the Word does in us. God’s Word gives power and knowledge to our faith.
The apostle Paul writes:
For the word of God [is] living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Our kids need to learn to read the Bible and apply what they’ve learned to their lives. Family devotions – and the example of your personal devotions – are an excellent way to instill a passion for God’s Word early in our kids’ lives.
Scripture memorization: Jesus quoted from all but two Old Testament books and was ready with answers when challenged by skeptics. Now, being God in the flesh helped, but we can use Scripture memorization to our advantage, too. My youngest son is three and I’ve taught him two verses:
“God is love.”
“Children, obey your parents.”
Memorization needn’t be laborious. It’s one tool that prepares our hearts to serve others at a moment’s notice. Our words have power because God’s Word has power.
Pleasant words [are like] a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24 NKJV
and
Preach the word! Be ready in season [and] out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:2 NKJV
The better we know our Bible, the better prepared we are to convince, rebuke, exhort and teach about Jesus.
AWANA programs train clubbers to memorize Scripture and I highly recommend the program if you have one in your area.
Prayer: Prayer is our connection to our source of life and power. Apart from God, we are like an unplugged lamp. Plug into prayer and shine.
Many books and devotionals have been written about prayer.
How do we pray?
What do we say?
Does God want to hear from me?
Does God want to hear from me after I’ve sinned?
How formal should my prayers be?
Our kids look to us to teach them how to talk with God. Prayer is about relationship.
Before we can understand how we feel about God, we need to understand – really know – how God feels about us. When we soak up that truth, then our other questions fall into place.
When Jesus wanted the crowds to know how God really felt about sinners repenting and turning to God, He told this story:
“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. Luke 15:20 NKJV
We’ve heard this parable before and it’s easy for it to become just another story, so let’s personalize it:
- When (YOUR NAME or YOUR CHILD’S NAME) was still a great way off, God saw her and had compassion, and ran and fell on her neck and kissed her.
(Honestly, I need this reminder daily. It’s a constant struggle to feel welcome and wanted by God. But my feelings are just that – feelings. And they don’t always reflect reality because the reality is that I – and you – are treasured daughters.)
Prayer is all about relationship. God is not a distant CEO of the Universe or an untouchable celebrity on tv, but a daddy with His arms open wide for His kids.
When we know we are loved, then conversation flows.
And when we love someone, we spend time with him or her.
Without prayer, we don’t have a relationship with God. Let’s teach our kids to run to their Father in prayer.
Conversation: You’d think that having a divine, sinless Teacher like Jesus would make the disciples scholars in God’s ways, wouldn’t you?
But no.
The disciples were ordinary men, prone to confusion like we all are. Jesus often took them aside to explain His parables and teachings after He had spoken to the crowds.
As disciples, they benefited from unprecedented access to their Teacher. And He took the time to converse with them. Discussions as they walked from town to town, quiet moments reclining at the table, chats in the garden.
Jesus didn’t just dish out divine one-liners and expect His disciples to figure it out – He made sure they were prepared for the work ahead.
Our children have unique and special access to us. Answering questions, using opportunities to tie a spiritual truth to an every day experience (when the first daffodils sprout, we can talk about how God give us Living Water and helps us grow up from a seedling to a mature flower), and digging deeper.
These heart talks take deep roots. Don’t be surprised when a mature disciple sprouts from these little seeds one day.
Six: Talk about the cost of discipleship.
One mistake a well-meaning Christian often makes with potential converts is to make Christianity look appealing.
This Christian promises health, wealth, and happiness if the prospect will follow Jesus. But when the new convert faces trials of life – which Jesus warned would come – the convert is disappointed and falls away.
Like the seeds with shallow roots, the new convert withers from the scorching sun. Essentially, the new convert was deceived.
Moms, we don’t want our kids to fall away when life hurts because they thought that following Jesus led to rainbows and roses.
Let’s be real about the cost of discipleship.
Jesus advised His followers to count the cost:
“And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has [enough] to finish [it]– lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see [it] begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’” Luke 14:27-30
Let’s be real.
- Talk about Christian persecution on the news. Read books about missionaries in hostile countries.
- Discuss situations in which doing the right thing may be unpopular.
- Teach our young disciples that illness, money problems, ridicule, car accidents and stubbed toes are part of life and not a sign of God’s disfavor.
Because this life is not THE life. The reward is not health, wealth, and happiness in this life but everlasting life with Jesus.
A final word: perfection is not the goal with our little disciples; faithfulness is. Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Be encouraged, moms, and be faithful.
We are the harvest workers. We are the teachers. We are the tip of the sword.
One day we will have the joy of seeing our young disciples turn around and lead others to Jesus. Mature, qualified Kingdom workers.