Love says “you before me.”
That’s the essence of love: you before me, so I can be first in your heart.
I don’t know about you, but I struggle with putting others before myself, both in marriage and motherhood. When I use the word “servant” to describe myself (in a snide tone), I’m complaining, not complimenting. Honestly, who wants to be a servant? How about an interior designer, or a farmer, or a writer, or a cupcake taste tester?
But Jesus had other ideas.
His closest disciples were having a less-than-flattering discussion: who will be first in the Lord’s kingdom. Jesus joins them and resets their priorities:
Sitting down, He called the twelve and said to them, “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35 NASB
If we want to be first in His esteem, then we’ll start by being last in line and serving everyone ahead of us.
So what does it look like to put someone ahead of ourselves? Today is Valentine’s Day. How can we say “you before me” to our husbands? If you’re not married, how can you put first whoever God has placed in your life?
We don’t have to look far to see a picture of love drawn for us. This passage is quoted at weddings and not just by Christians. It’s popular reading for Valentine’s Day, and pastors teach it on sermons about sacrificial love.
You know it: The “love chapter” – 1 Corinthians 13. Lyrical. Poetic. Insightful.
When my husband and I were going through a rough time in our marriage, I decided to read through 1 Corinthians 13 with new eyes. Instead of looking at love’s qualities, I searched for practical real-life applications. How can I turn lyrical, lofty ideals into actions?
Journeying through the love verses, I made quick notes of how I could apply “you before me” principles in my relationship with my husband. The result is called “The Love Chapter Rules.”
When you read the list remove the word “him” and replace it with your husband’s name (or whoever you’ve decided to love and serve). You can download this as a free printable and hang it where you’ll see it every day.
- Love is patient – love waits for him whether or not he deserves it
- Love is kind – love considers his feelings
- Love does not envy – love doesn’t feel sorry for itself because it didn’t get everything it deserves
- Love is not puffed up – pride doesn’t leave much room for anything else; love considers that maybe it’s not always right
- Love does not behave rudely – love is careful what it says; its words are thoughtful
- Love does not seek its own – love doesn’t try to get what it wants from him
- Love is not provoked – love is not quick to get angry over every little thing
- Love doesn’t rejoice in iniquity – love is not happy when he fails by sinning
- Love rejoices in the truth – love wants truth to build him up
- Love bears all things – love puts up with trouble for his sake
- Love believes all things – love believes the best about him
- Love hopes all things – love anticipates God’s faithfulness to him
- Love endures all things – love can put up with a lot for his good
- Love never fails – love doesn’t give up when the odds are stacked against it
https://seekinggodwithjoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/The-Love-Chapter-Rules.pdf
Transformation. That’s the power of servanthood, of selfless love, of “you before me.” Jesus proved it. He taught us “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Our marriages and close relationships will brighten, grow, and thrive when we apply a little “you before me” love.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Click the image above to download The Love Chapter Rules as a PDF.